"The piñata promites violence against flamboyant animals."

Sorry for the delay. Blogger froze my blog so I couldn't post. But I've been acquitted of spamming. Their robots don't know what they're missing!

Ever wondered what an action movie where only the foley is decent would look like?
Just because you put a sign up, it doesn't mean you're cooler.
Yeah, hilarious. Sure.
What is wrong with these people?
Did you notice them all wearing the same Greek shirts? This has to be the most disappointing reality of a "sorority house" I've ever seen.
Needs meds.
Learn how Cheney shot a man.
And from that site, I learned about having way too much time on your hands (and too many condoms on...well) (NSFW-ish)
Comedy Central shows on the internet
This sure brings back memories...of watching TV.

Enjoy.

"That gay albino is hitting on your not-girlfriend."

Today's fire safety lesson: gasoline is highly combustable. Highly, remember?
Since you've secretly wondered what the hell those brown monsters that chased kittens were
She looks thrilled about her new pants with easy feel-up access.
Hey, that's what Dick does.
You think your man is controlling, but are you contractually bound?
The Today Show isn't funny, but Conan is. (I'll find the results when Conan does his own bit.)
Demetri Martin's take on MySpace (err..."social networking")
And his take on a lot of other things from Comedy Central Presents

""Baby Got Book" - It looks like this old classic is gathering web buzz and putting together a strong second wind. (Look for it to appear on VH1's "Web Junk 20" in about five weeks, alongside Patrice O'Neal yelling "jokes" at you.)" - from Gorillamask.net on the 9th
It took VH1 eight days.

Enjoy.

"I force them together, and then I make them fight in my mouth."

Because preschoolers need to learn about total domination.
The other Axe effect.
An uber-geek amongst geeks
I've decided my life is too sedentary.
If you wondered what others were doing yesterday.
Can anyone explain this? (Dirty old men is my best guess.) (probably NSFW)
This makes more sense, on a technicality.
"Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride." Or the opposite.
This art is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
Shave, pluck, wax or...burn? (NSFW)
She can't walk, but she can shoot.
The internet now offers a way to slip you into a coma from the comfort of your own home.
The priceless report (and reinactment) of the Dick Cheney shooting from The Daily Show
Everybody must get owned.
Thousands of years ago in the future, mirrors were made of wood.
I love my mom.
Safety tip: don't piss off a big cat in a cage, and then let it out.
Hornets > Bees
Gravity > Ice
DIY Boy Meets World
An historic night on Conan
This cat is confused.
The Big Man on the ones and twos.
Because you've "enjoyed" everything else the web offers: Lego porn. (NSFW)
When you spend too much time playing video games, you do things like this.
When you then get positive reinforcement from other nerds, it leads to this.

These pictures are (of) the bomb.
So are these (3 pages)
Would you prefer video coverage (with fun vintage voiceover)?

500kV of pure energy (not in my pants).
345kV is pretty impressive too.
I don't know what actually explodes; I don't know why this is on tape; I don't know why it sounds like there's a croud and an announcer for it either.

I hope you brought supplies.

Enjoy.

"I'm funnier than a dress."

Wow. This is gay.
What are either of you doing?
O JUSTICEIRO Indeed!
Milla Jovovich is not impressed.
Because you can't draw Muhammed enough. Or at all.
Gymnasts are graceful.
I'd almost swear he's singing "Cheney".

And the V-Day stragglers, for the malcontents:
If you forgot to get a V-Day card, these should worsen the situation.
Cupid's a damn, dirty proto-cherub.
All American rejects.
Gun love.

And one for the V-Day straggling nerds.

If I gave you any more, you'd a splode.

Enjoy.

"I'm spreading love like a terrorist now."

Happy Valentines Day



I guess that's love.
Do you need a man?
Or a bad girl?
Perhaps you're a little bitter about (or afraid of) today. (not safe for love...or children)

And this came up when I searched "love" for Valentine's Day. It sounds like he's duck hunting with hip hop.

Enjoy.

"We answer the questions you never thought needed asking."

Mexico City (No, you don't know what it's like.)
Because you can't make fun of MySpace enough.
Ninja are silent and deadly. Practitioners of kung fu are f!#$ing crazy.
Not all ninja are well-skilled, though.
Nor are Americans.
Do LSD. Just like the British Army.
A real life Pokemon battle.
Mowww. I guess.

Until I can find/put these elsewhere, the pages these are on have NSFW ads:
Remember how last Halloween there were 50 vids/games that ended with a shrieking, horriffic image? Well, someone is the worst father ever. (NSFW ads)
An old, white teacher in trouble for saying "nigga" to a student. Tragic? Maybe. Hilarious? Definitely! (NSFW ads)

Enjoy.

"Tunnelling is the new black."

It's Saturday!
You should learn to focus better.
Your MySpace could be better.
I wish Dr. Phil wasn't my dad too.

The best ad campaign ever (5 vids)

I don't know why this came up when searching for the set above, but it's a baby eating her father.

Enjoy.

"The President wants to foster a culture of life, so pardon a turkey, send 200 000 kids to Iraq."

All that follows was ripped off. My excuse? My day could be summarized with the image above.
Brokeback to the Future (video)
Once I manage to download it, this might be good.
The caption says, "Reese Witherspoon has been nominated for an Oscar," but the article reads, "Reese Witherspoon has been killing photographers."
For when you care enough to give the very minimum.
Do you think you could ski where you can hold onto a static pole and the hill moves under you? This guy couldn't. (video)

Enjoy.

"Hey, sucking at darts is not a superpower."

In case you missed the Superbowl, this is what many consider the highlights.
If manga was reality, this would be celebrity.
And so would this.
Kill Bill with Mario sound effects should be funnier than this. (video)

A few things I found here at Blogger:
This guy decided to screw with one of the Nigerian spam scammers.
This guy is funny.
This guyette is funny.

Update:
That's a frickin' big bunny.

Enjoy.

"Fun to pet, better to chew."

For all your sciency needs.
Your ass will be kicked (by PowerPoint, no less)
A Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter (etc.) (video)
Some people love/hate their cats too much.
If this isn't being done by a three-year-old, I'm upset.
If you're like me, you never saw the HomestarRunner "first time here" clip. And you're up way too late. (video)

Enjoy.

"I know things that would curdle your blood--including a formula that literally curdles blood."

Wow, I ripped off this whole post's content (aside from my witty banter). But then again, I'm not taking credit for these things.

Tee hee hee, silly Germans
Have you ever felt like you were a pawn in a game...of Scrabble? (Or "Have you ever wanted to see someone's Asian fetish?")
If this is what life would be like if we all hovered, I'd stay on the ground.

Not good videos:
Why do people think they're interesting?
Seriously

Enjoy.

"I think it's weird the way 'finger puppets' sounds ok as a noun."

Even though this is footage of it, this is an impossible shot. (video)
Because you don't know every dirty word/phrase that the internet has invented. (NSFW)
If you've devoured Exploding Dog and Toothpaste for Dinner completely, then try Spamusement.
The 65 best music videos of 2005, according to this person.
Star Wars nerdism rears it's furry head.



Enjoy.

"I love the fact that you really need serious help."

I spend a lot of time on the internet. Too much, some might say. But you can't complain, because you're here reading this now. I'm going to use this space to share things I find in my digital travels, because other people should be subjected to some of this weird stuff as well.

I was busy tonight, and here's some of the funniest and/or most bizarre:
A biker dancing to "My Humps"
I can't hope to explain this.
Who doesn't like yarn-based art? (not video)
For when you want to tell that special someone how much you care. Kinda. (not video)
Some people like Mike Tyson's Punch Out a bit too much.
The ukulele can be pretty sweet. (I didn't believe it before either.)
Steve Jobs doesn't like Bill Gates.
Star Wars translated into Leet (Just in case you almost have a girlfriend.)
The kid wants his chocolate milk, bitch!
Some of Andy Dick's MTV show was hilarious. (He put clips online without permission.)
Oh, won't you be my teddy bear? Just...like...that....
GTA: San Andreas apparently wasn't the first game with questionable content.

Bonus(???) clip:
A Harry Potter figures three-way. This is partially funny, and largely the most bizarre thing I've seen on the 'net. (NSFW...or anywhere)

Enjoy.